The Bitsy Ford Clinic - Poor Mans Rehab By Liz Cooper Smith

Short introduction

Don’t have a spare $12,000 per day to dry out? No cute guys in group therapy? Sick and tired of your ‘Life Coach’ calling in sick? We invite you to take a crazy ride through your life. So whatever your addiction, whatever your sin, or whatever your vice, open wide, there’s a few pills you’ve gotta swallow.

CHAPTER 1 - INTRODUCTION

1. THE BITSY FORD CHECK IN COUNTER

Like with any good rehabilitation programs, there’s certain things you need to know even before you’re strapped down to a bed. These things, as lengthy as they may be, are important and you need to pay attention. Here’s an overview of your check in.

1.1 One Big Disclaimer
1.2 How To Use This Life Guide
1.3 The Bitsy Ford Bio
1.4 What Happens In ‘The Bitsy Ford’ Program
1.5 Side Bar
1.6 Medical Prescriptions
1.7 Medical Terminology
1.8 Housekeeping
1.9 One last warning before you begin
1.10 Your Personal Bag of Pills

1.1 ONE BIG DISCLAIMER

This satirical guide:
• Is only one persons observation of human behaviour and this person has plenty problems of their own.
• Is to only be considered and not to be taken literally or orally.
• Has not been medically tested so if you have a serious medical condition, have unattended to seizures, shakes, tremors, swelling, headaches, nausea or vomiting for gods sake, see a Doctor and then a Naturopath.
• Recommends you take on board the suggestions but keep in mind, you do whatever works for you.

1.2 HOW TO USE THIS LIFE GUIDE

When using this life guide, we recommend you be a variation of either vertical or horizontal and is recommended you be awake when you’re reading. We recommend the use of your eyes in conjunction with your brain. Laughter is optional.

Also, at the end of every section, you’ve been set some Group Therapy Exercise. Don’t whine about it, just do it.

Full word count 9630 words